How do we get married today?

    In May 2014, Xu Fei, a girl from Beijing, held her wedding at a four-star hotel she had booked a year in advance. Two weeks later, more than 1,200 kilometers away in Wuhan, Tong Tong also held her wedding ceremony at a hotel she had booked six months earlier.

    As their mutual college roommate, Wang Yiming was forced to attend two heavy drinking parties and "regretted it so much she wanted to cry" about agreeing to be someone's bridesmaid.

    However, by the end of May, after attending two weddings in her hometown of Xinxiang, Henan—one for her high school friend and the other for her cousin—Wang Yiming actually cried—"I was shocked to tears."

    From the international metropolis of Beijing to the provincial capital of Wuhan, and then back to her small hometown, she witnessed remarkably similar wedding scenes at four different banquets: the emcee used every trick in the book to evoke strong emotions, and the newlyweds were manipulated like puppets. Floral arrangements and music were interspersed throughout, with "unruly children" crying and adults eating in the audience. The "blindingly bright" light shows and the wedding company advertisements that often lasted three minutes were quite uncomfortable.

    "Neither Chinese nor Western, neither traditional nor foreign..." This 26-year-old woman, who had initially been full of beautiful dreams about her wedding, was disappointed and heartbroken, so much so that she slammed her fist on the table and declared to the reporter, "I'm definitely going to have something different in the future!"

    There are now many creative wedding styles: "bicycle weddings," "lawn weddings," "conference weddings," "Great Wall weddings," and so on. However, in the view of Shi Kangning, Director-General of the Wedding Industry Committee of the China Association of Social Workers, "fashion and trend also mean short-livedness." He told the reporter that a good wedding should satisfy individuality while not abandoning tradition. But in China today, most weddings "lack commitment, gratitude, and a sense of ceremony."

    Marriage is a huge business

.     Data from the Ministry of Civil Affairs shows that from 2008 to 2012, approximately 13 million couples registered for marriage nationwide each year. In Beijing, since 2010, the average number of newlyweds has been 170,000 per year. Data compiled by BTV Finance Channel's "Beijing Data" program shows that 88.4% of newlyweds take wedding photos, 49.14% hire wedding planning companies, and 78.74% of these couples hold a wedding banquet.

    Of the 2.6 trillion yuan in domestic tourism revenue generated by 3.3 billion trips nationwide in 2013, honeymoon spending was twice that of regular tourism.

    "The place where Chinese people are least afraid to spend money is getting married," said Shi Kangning. Official data from the China Wedding Expo shows that the "2014 Spring China Wedding Expo," held at the Beijing National Convention Center on April 19th and 20th, achieved a total transaction volume of 698 million yuan over two days, compared to 870 million yuan during the three-day Valentine's Day expo two months prior.

    "In the narrow sense of wedding spending, the wedding banquet is almost the largest expenditure item," explained Li Xiang, product manager of Sunny Wedding Planning Company. Currently, a single table at a four-star hotel in Beijing costs between 3,000 and 4,000 yuan. Extrapolating to a 10-table wedding banquet, the total cost would be 30,000 to 40,000 yuan. Other wedding expenses, such as flowers, photography, makeup artist, and emcee, if all handled by a wedding planning company, would cost "at least 30,000 yuan for a mid-to-low-end wedding." This brings the total cost of a typical wedding to 60,000 to 70,000 yuan.

    "This level is relatively low," said Shi Kangning. Compared to some local weddings with hundreds of guests and dozens or even hundreds of tables, Beijing's market, due to its population advantage, is primarily driven by volume. There are approximately 120,000 weddings annually.

    A large number of young people born in the 1980s and 1990s, who have recently entered the workforce, are about to begin their fierce competition in giving red envelopes (gifts). Wang Yiming, a white-collar worker in Beijing, is a case in point. In May, Wang not only used up his annual leave but also gave out at least a month's salary in wedding gifts.

    The evolution of weddings extends

    beyond wedding planning companies; many related industries are experiencing ups and downs, reflecting the changing nature of wedding culture.

    In the early 2000s, people were transitioning from scarcity to abundance, and weddings were often extravagant, emphasizing lavish food, drinks, and vehicles. Wedding car fleets were booming, benefiting the liquor and tobacco industries, and the most sought-after wedding emcees were practically performing a variety of acts.

    Today, in major cities, young people are more likely to book hotels in advance for their weddings, rarely showing off with limousines, Mercedes, or BMWs. They also don't want to be overshadowed by emcees or have relatives who, after the meal, critique the banquet. They prefer to take control of their wedding plans. In

    2002 and 2003, a candlelight-themed wedding, adopted by a group of Shanghainese from Japan, garnered significant attention in the industry, followed by a surge in Hello Kitty, ocean, and flight-themed weddings. Themed weddings are increasingly becoming mainstream, and

    a trend towards wedding minimalism is quietly emerging. Wedding banquets are no longer an excuse for "money-gathering" or "pushovers," and some young people are using "gift vouchers" (such as red envelopes containing a note saying "This voucher allows you to attend ×× wedding for free") to defuse the power of "red bombs" (wedding invitations).

    From public opinion to government guidance, people are rejecting extravagance and advocating rationality and environmental protection. Under such market demand, floral and fabric design companies are giving more consideration to the recyclability of their products.

    At the same time, the inheritance and return to traditional culture is becoming a core competitiveness of wedding companies. For example, wedding companies specializing in Chinese-style weddings are highly regarded, driving a boom in related training industries.

    The emergence of wedding ceremonies that are more in line with contemporary values is due to both the advancement of civilization and the improvement of the overall level of practitioners. Ten years ago, a survey by the wedding industry committee showed that the proportion of undergraduates among practitioners was no more than 3%, while now there are many overseas returnees with master's and doctoral degrees.

    What kind of wedding should one have?

    "A few close friends and family, no monetary gifts, no noise or extravagance, no ostentatious displays, not even elaborate attire or makeup. Just a simple, elegant party, receiving heartfelt blessings from those who love you most..." This is one netizen's ideal wedding requirement.

    Popular tourist cities abroad are also extending olive branches to the ever-growing number of Chinese newlyweds. For example, every year 20,000 couples from China take wedding photos in Okinawa, Japan, with 70% from Taiwan, 20% from Hong Kong, and less than 10% from mainland China. Therefore, the Okinawan government has taken considerable action to expand the mainland Chinese market.

    What if you're short on cash and can't come up with any spare money? Banks have already considered this for you—"personal credit loans," which can be used for all wedding-related expenses, including travel, renovations, beauty treatments, purchasing diamonds and jewelry, wedding photography, and so on.

    Of course, for an even more economical wedding, a bicycle or a patch of grass will suffice. On June 1st this year, Yu Peng and Zhao Yue, young people from Tianqiao District, Jinan City, completed their "bicycle wedding" with only 500 yuan. On May 28th, eight couples in Weifang City held a group wedding on the lawn. Meanwhile, 18 couples from Harbin Institute of Technology became the protagonists of the "Most Beautiful Promise Under the School Motto Stone – The Second Annual Doctoral Student Group Wedding"... This model has also been seen in Taiyuan, Chongqing, Luoyang, and other places, showing a growing trend.

    The extravagant weddings with people adorned with gold and boxes of cash filling the room are increasingly less popular, unwelcome by both the public and the government. If one is willing to put in more effort, one can learn from Jiang Zhou and Li Yuanyuan's "Model UN Wedding"—the Peking University Model United Nations Association specially established an organizing committee for the wedding of these two former Model UN conference members, recruiting a secretary-general, academic director, technical director, etc., using the rules and procedures of Model UN activities as a blueprint to handle tasks such as seat allocation, drafting and issuing resolutions, keeping all the guests extremely busy.

    There's nothing wrong with being unconventional and innovative, but as one cultural scholar said, "A wedding isn't a stage play or a skit; you shouldn't miss the opportunity to experience that sense of ceremony." Therefore, holding a traditional Chinese wedding with the elaborate three-bow and nine-kowtow ceremony is guaranteed to be timeless.

    Today, young Chinese people have more choices than ever before when it comes to how to get married, and the opinions of others don't matter. Two sentiments probably best illustrate the point: one is "It's a pity that a wedding only happens once," and the other is "Thankfully, a wedding only happens once!"