Reading ancient and modern books to discuss the weaknesses of human nature

Reading Ancient and Modern Books on Human Weaknesses

—The Most Chilling Coldness in the Workplace is Ingratitude

In the workplace, the most chilling human weakness is not a difference in ability or disagreement, but rather the ingratitude of forgetting all the good others have done for you and focusing only on a single mistake. Throughout history, those who started from scratch and rose from the bottom rarely succeeded without the support of others. Many people, when facing difficulties and being alone, relied entirely on the help of their partners who devoted themselves to helping them, contributing money, effort, and strategies, clearing obstacles, building platforms, and helping them escape their predicament and gain a foothold. However, once these partners hold power and their positions are secure, the past kindness and friendship are easily washed away by power and self-interest, and the coldness of human nature is fully exposed in the face of gains and losses.

I. Ingratitude in History

Throughout history, examples of ingratitude are numerous. During the Spring and Autumn Period, Wu Zixu assisted King Helü of Wu in assassinating King Liao and seizing the throne. He then trained the Wu army and reformed its internal affairs, leading to Wu's decisive victory over Chu and its dominance among the feudal lords. He is considered the most important contributor to Wu's rise to power. During Helü's lifetime, he trusted Wu Zixu greatly and entrusted him with important responsibilities. When Fuchai ascended the throne, Wu Zixu continued to serve him diligently and loyally, repeatedly risking his life to offer advice, all to preserve Wu's foundation. However, after Fuchai secured his throne, he gradually grew tired of Wu Zixu's frank advice, forgot the unparalleled contributions Wu had made to Wu, listened to slander, disregarded past favors, and even ordered Wu Zixu to commit suicide. Ultimately, Wu's kingdom perished.

Similarly, Ying Bu at the end of the Qin Dynasty initially followed Xiang Yu in battle, repeatedly achieving military merits. Xiang Yu enfeoffed him as the King of Jiujiang, and he enjoyed Xiang Yu's deep trust and favor. However, as Liu Bang's power grew, Ying Bu, for his own selfish gain, forgot Xiang Yu's kindness in recognizing his talent and betrayed Xiang Yu to join Liu Bang, fully displaying his ungrateful and treacherous nature.

During the Three Kingdoms period, Lü Bu, renowned as the "Flying General," was despised by the world for his fickleness and ingratitude. He betrayed Ding Yuan, who had nurtured him, and then relied heavily on Dong Zhuo, ultimately suffering defeat, isolation, and death.

Secondly,

such ingratitude is also common in the modern workplace. In my friend's company, a new employee had no experience and didn't even understand basic business processes. Senior employees proactively put aside their own work to guide him through the business, help him refine plans, revise drafts with him during overtime, and provide backup. They also generously shared their years of accumulated client resources and work skills, helping him grow from a novice to a key member of the team. However, when this newcomer was promoted to department head based on his accumulated resources and abilities, gaining the power to evaluate performance and schedule shifts, he completely changed. He

easily forgot the help his former employees had given him in times of need, and the past camaraderie vanished, replaced by endless criticism, scheming, and suppression. Minor oversights that could be tolerated before became unforgivable mistakes; previously harmonious work methods were now met with relentless harassment and targeting for the slightest dissatisfaction; even the smallest error at work was magnified, becoming an excuse for him to exclude, isolate, and eliminate dissidents.

This newly promoted manager not only never mentioned the generous guidance his former employees had given him, but also constantly targeted his former mentor. He ignored and refuted reasonable work suggestions from veteran employees; he publicly criticized and heavily criticized even minor mistakes made by them; to promote his cronies, he deliberately reduced veteran employees' performance bonuses and seized their hard-earned project achievements; when he made mistakes and was criticized by his superiors, he would always use the shortcomings of veteran employees to absolve himself, using their mistakes to cover up his own, and finally find excuses to force veteran employees out of the company, completely erasing their past contributions. Another startup

team faced initial funding shortages and project difficulties. Core members took pay cuts and contributed their savings, working day and night to overcome the company's critical situation. However, once the company was on track, secured funding, and expanded, the founder became wary of the veteran members' prestige and abilities, fearing their power would threaten his own. He used various unfounded reasons to reduce their authority and salaries, ultimately forcing all veteran members to leave so he could enjoy the company's profits alone. What was once camaraderie turned into betrayal.

Third, the nature of workplace ingratitude and how to deal with it

. Ingratitude in the workplace is often driven by self-interest. When someone finds you useful, they'll go to great lengths to win you over, showering you with sweet words and promises, treating you as their most reliable support, depending on you for everything and expressing gratitude in every word. But once you're no longer useful, they'll turn on you ruthlessly, discarding you like trash. Not only will they forget past favors, but they'll also ruthlessly ostracize and suppress you, even kicking you out of the team. Your past heartfelt help becomes their taken-for-granted demands; your past sincerity is met with their ingratitude after they gain power.

Human hearts are fickle, and self-interest takes precedence. Many workplace relationships crumble before power and status. Your heartfelt dedication may not earn you genuine treatment; your unreserved support may not retain a bond; your all-out effort to elevate you may instead cultivate an ungrateful adversary. This isn't just the cruelty of the workplace, but rather a reflection of humanity's most authentic weakness: people easily lose their way after gaining power, forgetting where they came from, ignoring those who helped them, blinded by greed and power, taking others' kindness for granted, and casting aside past friendships.

In the workplace, we must be discerning in judging people and maintain boundaries in our interactions. We don't need to shower everyone with kindness, nor should we waste our sincerity on those who are ungrateful and unappreciative. We must understand that kindness is not meant to be consumed, and sincerity is not meant to be trampled upon. We must uphold the boundaries in our relationships, remain clear-headed in judging character, stay away from the callous and ungrateful, and cherish those who treat us sincerely. Only in this way can we minimize harm in the complex workplace and achieve long-term success.

Understanding this is understanding the essence of the workplace and human nature. Rather than wasting time in cold relationships and compromising ourselves in unworthy circles, it's better to withdraw promptly and decisively distance ourselves from those who are ungrateful and heartless. As the ancients said, "A wise man does not stand under a crumbling wall." Leaving circles where values clash and people are unpredictable, and ending relationships that constantly drain you, is not only preserving your original intentions but also the best protection for yourself.

I really like this saying, "Sit in the back row of a play; although you can't see the play clearly, you can see the other spectators."

Life itself is a grand play; there's no need to crowd the front row for the spectacle. Taking a step back allows you to avoid conflict and see who is genuinely cheering and who is just putting on an act. The excitement belongs to others; clarity is your own. Seeing things clearly reduces attachments, and understanding brings more composure. Being a spectator in the back row means not participating in the farce and protecting your own peace.