That year, that day, today, tomorrow

　　 Every day is new, and it is precisely because it is new that I yearn for each tomorrow. I cannot complain about today's pain and sorrow, nor can I be overly comforted by today's joy. Because I firmly believe that tomorrow may bring even greater pain and sorrow, or perhaps even greater joy. All of this is simply because tomorrow is new. We may be able to predict the trend of tomorrow's development, but we cannot know what will happen to us or what we will be experiencing at any given moment.

　　 The night is always quiet; the chirping of cicadas and frogs, the patter of rain on banana leaves, the swirling wind and snow—these are the notes of this world. Perhaps only at night will you notice these sounds, only at night will you feel your heart beating, only at night will you reflect on yourself. At night, I am the wise man of the world, examining myself thrice daily

　　 . Those years, those days—how can time ever turn back? Along this journey, there have been no great storms, but only gentle breezes and fine rain. Thinking back, I've missed some people; my ignorance and cowardice then may have led to regret today, but it's not my fault. In my world, I seem to be able to find a reason for everything I regret—perhaps this is self-comfort! But after much thought, I realized it wasn't a missed opportunity. It was simply a feeling of liking someone at that particular point in time, and later I discovered it was merely due to my increased understanding and maturity. Psychologically speaking, everyone's mind and body undergo significant changes at different ages, especially someone like me whose psychology has changed dramatically. At

　　 different ages, we think about different things, and many thoughts and decisions, though seemingly irrational today, were simply how we were at that age. Like reflecting on why you didn't confess to those who liked you back then, but instead became good friends with them today; why you chose this university and this major. Back in high school, all I wanted was a stable job, so I chose a teacher's college. Back then, I said, "I don't want to be constantly on the go in the future. I'll choose to study education, get a teaching certificate in college, and become a teacher after graduation. Every day I'll teach students, play sports with colleagues in my spare time, chat with students, and in the evenings when I don't have classes, I'll hold my wife and children's hands, the three of us walking down the street, enjoying the cool breeze. My daughter will have an ice cream, I'll hold my wife's hand, and she'll hold our daughter's hand. After get off work, one of us will bring the other a bowl of rice, cooked by ourselves. It won't be gourmet food, but it will be delicious." That's what I thought at that age; I never considered anything else. Only today do I realize how naive I was back then, even though that might have been the most leisurely and comfortable life. But all of this requires financial support; without it, everything seems meaningless. After becoming a teacher trainee, I realized that being a teacher isn't easy, and teaching students isn't easy either. Moreover, only now have I realized that a teacher's college degree isn't suitable for a guy like me. Now I understand that what I truly desire is to move between major cities, all for the sake of making money. Only with money can I have the family I want, the love I desire, and the life I want for the rest of my life. Now I have thoughts of escaping school, because perhaps society is a better place to hone my skills. I want to go to big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangdong, and Nanjing, to experience the pace of life in these cities. Without venturing out, perhaps we'll never know the pace of life in others, never know our own limitations, and never know our true capabilities. But I also know that life in society isn't always rosy. Perhaps tomorrow, when I look back on today, I'll appreciate how wonderful it is now.

　　 In those years and now, I've been passionate, loving people I knew we could never be together, getting hurt, experiencing heartache, shedding tears, and drinking. But my heart is perhaps always bright, though sometimes it experiences mixed feelings and moments of darkness.

　　 Those years, those days, and today are all in the past for tomorrow. The pain and hardship haven't ended, and the joy and beauty are far from over, because you must believe that tomorrow is an unknown. Perhaps tomorrow will be worse than today and yesterday, or perhaps tomorrow will be even better.